


Come Back to Me

by Sweetgirl2019



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27612889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetgirl2019/pseuds/Sweetgirl2019
Summary: My version of a Destiel ending in 15x20. Dean is full of grief and regret but his prayers are finally answered
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 88





	Come Back to Me

**Author's Note:**

> First, I do not own Supernatural. I only wish I did! Well, I can't believe Supernatural is ending. Like so many others, I have been a fan of the Winchesters and Destiel for so, so many years. That confession in 15x18 broke my heart like I'm sure it did everyone else's. Reading all the encouraging posts on Tumblr has me hopeful for some sort of resolution or reunion in the last episode. I keep thinking if they were keeping things as is with Cas really dead, they would have dragged 15x19 to the last episode. Hell, they even had a montage! Could have been a series finale. So something big has to happen in the last episode for it to be this way. Also, if they just show Sam & Dean going back to the basics, a regular hunting episode...what would be the point? So my Destiel heart made me want to write my own ending, just in case the writers really screw up 12 years of story. I normally write for 2 other fandoms but have been away from this site for many months. It's been a tough year with everything Covid and tough for me, personally. But my love for Destiel brought me back. I love them wholeheartedly. Please let the last episode be a new beginning!

*****

Freedom. It was the strangest feeling. As Dean left his room and made his way down the hall, his mind went over the past few days on a never-ending loop. No longer were their strings being pulled by Chuck. No longer were their lives out of their hands. They were free. _Finally_. But as he turned another corner and heard the faint voices in the distance, a heaviness weighed on his heart, one that had been there for days. After defeating Chuck and bidding Jack farewell, their first stop had been the bunker. It had been their first real home in so many years and it felt right going back. They had glanced around themselves and shared a drink, unable to fully comprehend what their newfound freedom really meant. One drink and a laugh later, they were back in the Impala, driving towards their first destination.

Seeing Sam and Eileen embrace again after she had vanished with the rest of humanity had been a beautiful moment. Their grip on one another had been tight, whispering words that only lovers shared in the space between them. Seeing Sam happy, his smile real and true, had made Dean walk over and close the distance. Eileen had steered her grin in his direction and he could see her beauty, humor, grace and intelligence all at once. Dean had opened his arms and she had fell against him willingly. He had welcomed her to the family and when they had pulled away, the tears in Sam’s eyes were falling. When they had returned to the bunker the next night, their makeshift family had been waiting. Charlie and Stevie, Bobby, Jody, and Donna were standing with their arms held open. Bobby’s words from years before had entered Dean’s mind as he welcomed all the hugs. _‘Family don’t end in blood’_. No truer words were ever spoken.

Turning another corner in the present, Dean continued walking as Sam and Eileen's voices grew louder. Making his way into the common room, he took a minute to stand by the opening and watched his little brother take Eileen's face in his hands. The touch between them was tender, their gazes even more so. A private smile exchanged between them before they leaned in. Watching them, Dean was happy. Everything he and Sam had been through, together and apart, Dean was grateful that his brother had gotten a second chance at being happy. He had been the one all those years ago to take Sam away from his life at Stanford, away from Jessica. The guilt of her death was one that Sam had carried for all to see but one that Dean had carried silently. Seeing his brother now, with someone as great as Eileen, made Dean’s smile soften.

But as much as he welcomed the sweet moment, the heaviness in his own heart refused to leave. Their makeshift family was back together but the biggest part for Dean was still missing. His mind traveled back to that day as it constantly did, to Cas's confession before the Empty had taken him and Billie. So much had been professed in those few short moments.

‘ _I love you.’_

His heart ached when he thought back to that memory. He had been so surprised to hear those words, not fully understanding their meaning. Instead of reaching out for his Angel or voicing his own speech, he had simply stood frozen in his spot, watching his best friend with nothing but a mixture of shock and agony. When he had finally managed to speak, the words had been _‘Don’t do this, Cas’_. He had wanted to say so much more but had been stunned silent by it all. Nothing had made sense. Cas loved him? Romantically? How could that have been? Had Dean been so blind not to see it all those years?

Before he had been able to do much of anything, Cas had reached across the space between them and gripped his shoulder in the same spot as before. The bloody print had stained his jacket but Dean couldn’t bring himself to wash or throw it away. Every day since then, he wore the jacket as a reminder of his loss and of what could have been. He saw the looks from Sam and Charlie but his heart was broken into pieces. He just couldn’t wash away the memories.

When Cas had disappeared moments later, the Empty tearing him away, Dean realized he had missed his chance. Cas was gone, perhaps forever, leaving Dean alone in the shadows of the room. His phone had buzzed minutes later, Sam calling him over and over on repeat. But all Dean could do was sit frozen against the wall. All he could do was drop his face in his hands and silently cry in his misery. Castiel, Angel of Thursday, friend, and soulmate. The latter description would have scared Dean a few years back. He would have denied and ignored, pretended that the connection they shared was nothing more than brotherly. But he mourned Cas in a way that was different from Sam. After all these years, he finally understood the disparity.

Releasing a heavy sigh, he made his presence known and walked forward. Eileen leaned against Sam’s shoulder, his arm immediately wrapping around her as they turned towards him. Sam’s eyes squinted as he took in Dean’s appearance, focusing on the jacket, handprint visible in the light.

“Hey Dean,” he started, waiting until Eileen had tipped her head backwards to read his lips. “We were thinking of firing up the grill. Charlie and Stevie are heading over.”

Dean gave a faint nod, not really grasping the words until Eileen reached forward and touched his arm.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her brows furrowed similar to Sam’s.

He gave a small smile without nodding. “You guys have fun. I’m gonna head out for a drive, clear my head.”

“Dean,” Sam started but he held his hand up and shook his head.

“Not ready to talk about it yet, Sammy,” he said, closing the topic off as he stepped backwards. “Don’t wait up.”

Before either could respond, Dean turned on his heels and walked out of the room, feeling the heat of their gazes as they watched him go. When he was behind Baby’s wheel, driving down the quiet road in the darkness of the night, he let his pain unravel. The tears he held inside in front of others, the mask of happiness he wore for all to see finally stripped away. His eyes began to well as his heart shattered. An hour into his drive, his phone rang but he couldn’t bring himself to answer.

Three hours passed before he pulled the Impala to a stop behind an abandoned barn. He hadn’t even realized where he was driving until he stopped. Climbing out to his feet, he made his way through the darkness, boots crunching on the ground. Leaving the barn doors open to allow light inside, he made his way through the entrance and stopped a few feet in. Glancing around himself, he closed his eyes and was back in time, standing shoulder to shoulder with Bobby, guns full of rock salt gripped ready. The doors had opened, the lights sparking around them and suddenly, _he_ was there. Dressed in that ridiculous trench coat that Dean had learned to love, Castiel had strolled inside, blue eyes bright as they met Dean’s gaze. _‘I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition’_. Twelve long years had gone by and it felt like no time had passed at all. Opening his eyes, Dean made his way around the barn with slow footsteps.

“We met here,” he spoke aloud after a few moments, talking to Cas as if he were there. “You walked in, lights going haywire. I’ll never forget it.”

His voice echoed slightly in the open space as he reached out to touch the wall. It felt cool against his hand, his fingers dragging against the metal.

“You showed me those awesome wings, told me you were an Angel and I hated you. I hated you for who you were, for everything you represented. I was angry, Cas. I was so angry back then. Hell, I always have been,” Dean spoke quietly, snorting to himself self-deprecatingly. “For a long time, I thought you were nothing more than a puppet, a hammer. But then it all changed. You helped me. You went against everything you stood for, against your superiors, against Heaven and helped me. We went from enemies to allies to friends in a span of weeks. I didn't want to trust you but I did.”

He released the breath he had been holding and changed his direction, walking to the table he and Bobby had set up all those years back. He leaned against the metal, staring forward at the light near the entrance.

“You screwed up so many times, Cas. In the name of Heaven or peace or the greater good, you lied to me over and over and it hurt more and more each time. It hurt because you _mattered_ to me. You weren’t just an ally anymore, Cas. You were my best friend. My family.”

Looking down, the sadness he felt washed over him once more. A part of him wanted to leave the barn, to drive back to the bunker and force the pain away like always. To bury his ache so deep that eventually he was numb from it all, as if it had disappeared. But now that they were free, now that their lives weren’t in peril, all he could do was think. As much as he wanted to shut his brain off and forget, he couldn’t bring himself to do it anymore.

“I screwed up a lot, too. From Dad to my deal, from breaking in Hell and letting that first seal shatter to Gadreel and the Mark. I’ve made so many mistakes, man. But you saw through all of that. You saw _me_ ,” he said, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “When Lucifer stabbed you, it killed me, Cas. It killed me like it's killing me now.”

He shook his head as his voice began to break, tears welling in his eyes.

“How could you say that to me, man? How could you say those words?” he whispered. “You were an Angel, a celestial being. I never thought you felt emotions like humans did. I never thought…”

His words trailed off and he pushed away from the table, moving quietly to the opposite side. Burying his hands in his pockets, he fell against the wall, the light from outside reaching his feet.

“How could you tell me I changed you? How could you tell me that you cared about everything because _I_ did, that I was the most selfless, loving human you knew?” he said to the emptiness around him. “How could you tell me you loved me and then leave me?”

Closing his eyes, Dean let his head fall backwards with a dull thump. A single tear slipped down his cheek, falling off at the tip of his chin. He raised his hand to wipe the wetness away but instead, his fingers reached across and covered the handprint over his shoulder. With a silent gasp, he screwed his eyes shut even tighter, the pain inside his heart growing.

“Why do you keep leaving me?” 

When nothing but silence answered, Dean lifted his head and thumped it backwards again. He repeated the move over and over until he felt pain at the back of his skull. The thought of losing Cas again, losing him a final time, of understanding his own thoughts after his friend’s death was too much. He wanted to forget and didn’t want to forget at all.

A sudden spark at the end of the barn made him slowly lift his gaze. Blinking through the wetness in his eyes, he watched as the spark disappeared and then another took its place moments later, brighter than the last. The sparks came one after another, intensifying until a brightness filled the entrance to the barn. Dean steered his gaze away just as the walls around him began to shake. Stumbling backwards, he reached inside his pocket for the demon knife he always carried. A quick bolt of thunder and the light disappeared.

Taking a deep breath to ready himself, he blinked his eyes into focus and looked forward. What he saw made him freeze, his jaw falling open in disbelief. Cas was standing several feet away, staring down at his hands, his brows furrowed together as always. A part of Dean wanted to draw the knife out, not trusting the vision before him. But the other part that yearned for it to be true let the knife fall back in his pocket as he took a small step forward.

“Cas?”

The Angel snapped his head up and met Dean’s eyes, his gaze softening as he recognized the hunter. They stood on opposite sides, both frozen, afraid to take that first step. Another moment passed and Dean was finally moving. Gripping Cas tight across his shoulders, Dean released the breath he’d been holding when he felt a pair of arms go tight around his waist. Cas whispered his name and turned his head to the side to bury his face against Dean’s neck. Before, they would have embraced and pulled away, leaving so many words unspoken. But now, everything had changed. They held each other, bodies molded as one, neither willing to let any space between them. When he felt Cas breathe him in, Dean shuddered and did the same.

“How?” he finally asked, his voice breaking on the single word. “Cas, _how_?”

“Jack,” Cas replied with a smile, allowing a few inches so their eyes could meet.

“He brought you back?” Dean asked, eyes flying across his friend’s face. “He said he wouldn’t be hands on. I asked him after. I prayed to him over and over.”

“He said I mattered to him and that I mattered to you,” Cas replied, his voice gentle. “Seeing him in the Empty, seeing him as he is now, I can’t describe it. The Empty’s hold on me was broken. I was released.”

Dean took a shaky breath and ran a hand across his own eyes, letting the words sink in. When he looked up again, Cas was watching him with the focus of a hawk, studying his every reaction, trying to measure his thoughts.

“He gave me a choice,” Cas continued, unwrapping his arms from Dean’s waist, and allowing his hands to fall away. “To return to Heaven, fully restored.”

“Or?” Dean prompted, hating the space between their bodies.

“Or become human,” Cas said, his voice barely a whisper as he took in Dean’s shocked expression. “I chose humanity, Dean.”

“You…,” Dean started, stumbling back a step. “You gave up your grace? Why?”

Cas tilted his head to the side and finally smiled, his gaze a mixture of love, adoration, and fond annoyance. “I choose _you_ , Dean. I have always chosen you.”

The words shattered through Dean, forcing his mind back to that day, to Cas's confession before he snapped back to the present. As his heart thundered wildly, he understood the choice he had. He could avoid it all, avoid what his heart yearned for and give in to his fears, masking his emotions behind a wall of friendship and family. But the look in Cas’s eyes made Dean swallow and take a leap. He was tired of being afraid of the connection between them. He was tired of letting the pain win. Cas was standing in front of him, _alive_ , giving his all to Dean. How could he choose differently?

“I love you, too,” he finally said.

Cas’s eyes widened, his mouth falling open in disbelief. Not wanting the moment to break, Dean reach forward, hands gripping the warm neck before him. He yanked his friend close and let their lips find each other. Their first kiss was gentle and as perfect as Dean had dreamed. Cas made a noise of surprise but seconds later, his arms snaked around Dean’s waist, drawing him in. His mouth opened and Dean could barely hold in his whine when he felt the press of tongue against his own. Slipping one hand through Cas’s hair, Dean deepened the kiss, his heart pounding even faster at the feel of Castiel’s body. After so many years of confused feelings, the dam was finally breaking. A decade of longing, frustration, anger, heartache, and love poured out. One kiss after another, they crashed through all those walls, releasing the fears and baggage that had weighed them down. They let themselves feel, let themselves believe, accepting each other with the promise of a new beginning.

When the need for air became too intense, Dean tore his mouth away. Cas chased his lips, sneaking another kiss before his face buried against Dean’s neck. They closed their eyes and Dean groaned when he felt the bite against his collar. Cas slid his lips up to Dean’s jaw, stealing one more kiss and trailing back down to bite again. Dean’s body shook from the sting, one hand moving through Cas’s hair, the other sliding down his back to feel the tightness of muscles where his wings had once been.

As Cas littered his skin with kiss after kiss, Dean squeezed his eyes shut and let himself feel. He was standing in the same place as he had stood all those years ago, surrendering his body, soul, and heart to the intensity of their feelings. When their lips met again, he sighed into the kiss. He was standing with Castiel, the Angel of Heaven who had give everything for Dean. The Angel who had chosen to leave his celestial life to be human with Dean, to grow old with and love Dean.

Another sharp bite had Dean pulling away to meet a pair of hooded eyes. Cas let his gaze wander across the marks he had left behind, his lips curving upwards in a possessive smile. Dean let out a breathless chuckle at the dark gaze staring back at him. For so much of his life, he had felt unworthy, that he had never been enough. He saw himself through a lens of worth that never measured up. Sam had constantly tried to make Dean see the error of his thoughts throughout the years. To make Dean see how loved and worthy he was. But standing with Cas, no longer afraid of succumbing to the force of their connection, the final pieces finally fell into place. The pain he had carried for so long, the heavy burden weighing down on his shoulders finally began to melt away. The iron grip around his soul had loosened as he gave himself over to a devotion that had survived through everything.

What he and Sam had could never be touched. The bond between brothers was a stone never to be stepped on or altered. But for the first time in forever, Dean felt a lightness in his heart with the promise of forever wrapped inside. He felt loved. He felt _complete_.

“Dean?” Cas asked, his voice breaking through Dean’s thoughts.

Pulling back, Dean saw the flicker of doubt cross Cas’s features from his silence. Instead of letting it grow, Dean reached up to take Cas’s face in his hands, the kiss the gentlest he had ever given. When they tilted away again, the shine was back in Cas’s eyes. Dean couldn’t help but smile as he wiped the stain of tears away from his own face. Cas reached up to take his hand, twining their fingers together. A few years ago, it would have felt odd holding hands but now, all it did was make Dean’s heart beat more loudly. They exchanged smiles and stole glances as they walked to the Impala outside. When they reached the passenger door, Dean pushed Cas against the cool metal, searching his eyes.

“Are you sure? You know me, Cas. I’m not perfect. Are you _sure_?” he said, knowing that he was asking more than one thing.

Cas spread his hand over Dean’s heart before answering. “You are the embodiment of beauty, inside and out. What I said to you that day, I meant those words, Dean. I made this choice because it felt right. _You_ feel right. You always have. My love for you has always been there, never wavered. I just understand it now.”

Dean looked away, feeling his face flush but Cas gripped his chin and pulled him back.

“I choose you, Dean. I will always choose _you_.”

“Remember when your social skills were rusty? Now you’re making all these declarations,” Dean said with a nervous laugh. “You got a way with words, sweetheart.”

The endearment slipped out and Dean froze, looking up slowly. The broad smile on Cas’s face instantly made his anxiety fade away. Within seconds, Cas was on him, two magnets drawn together, unable to stay apart. They kissed again and again, the cold night air going unnoticed. They laughed when they drew back, Dean letting one final kiss drop against Cas’s temple. Dragging himself away, he walked to the other side and watched Cas clamber inside. Hesitating for a moment, he lifted his gaze towards the sky, eyes shining bright, smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

“Thank you,” he said and climbed behind the wheel.

When they were back on the road towards the bunker, miles of road separating them from home, Dean took a deep breath and let his heart settle. Sam was safe at home, the woman he loved in his arms. Bobby, Jody, Donna and Charlie were alive. Even his parents were at peace. He and Sam were free. A lifetime of pain and misery, anger, confusion, and choices that had left them with battle scars unable to heal. But now, that chapter had closed. Now, they were finally free.

Glancing to his right, Dean’s smile widened when he saw Cas was already watching him, his gaze a soft caress. They shared another smile and as Dean turned towards the road once more, he felt Cas grip his free hand and hold it tight between his own. Swallowing hard, Dean thought back to that first night all those years ago.

_‘Good things do happen, Dean’._

He hadn’t believed it then but he was finally beginning to believe it now.


End file.
